Thursday, July 05, 2007

I AM writing assignment


Yes, Father.

I have a job for you. Now that the sons of man have gotten around to inventing writing I would like you to create a written version of yourself.


This task presents some challenges, even for Us. For starters, it can’t have any contradictions, it has to match physical reality, it has to be historically accurate, and it shouldn’t have any similarities to existing writings—we wouldn't want them thinking we plagiarized stuff. And, although it obviously will be great literature, you’ll have to keep it to a single writing style; otherwise they will be postulating a different author for every style. Cultural biases are a no-no, and as far as vocabulary goes, you are going to have to keep it simple. Their vocabulary isn’t very big yet; only a few thousand words, and I don’t think it will do to make up new words—that would be interfering.

Hmmm… What language should I use?

That’s a tough one. I am wondering if we screwed up with the Babel thing—the whole thing would have fallen over on its own if we had just left them alone. I’m thinking Hebrew, and then Greek once it’s available—it has some nice features.

Won’t the meanings of words drift over time?

Oh...time—I forgot about that. I guess once their grubby little hands are on it we won’t be able to update it. Oh, never mind, it will give them something to argue about. They love to argue.

How about the other languages?

They will just have to muddle along with translations and paraphrasing if they are too lazy to learn Hebrew and Greek. Besides they can always ask us directly for clarification if they’re serious.

Can I farm some of this out Father?

What, too busy building mansions?

No, I was thinking that it might give a nice, multi-dimensional feel to it if I involve some of the better players.

That’s an interesting idea Son. Job and David come to mind for the emotional crowd. Moses will bore them to tears with details, but he’s good with dictation. Solomon and Paul will appeal to the intellectuals. Start with some of your own stuff, though. Write some words in stone to set the tone.

Father, I see a big problem with this. If I create a perfect written version of myself that meets all your requirements, won’t it be tough not to believe in Us?

You are always good at illuminating the flaws in things. You’re right. A perfect written Word would take away free will.

1 comment:

VirusHead said...

I like the imaginative dialogue approach here.

One thing: "keep it to a single writing style" ? Hardly.